by Kathryn Hamilton
Before you have that first chat with someone at an internet dating site, make sure you read their entire profile. This will provide you with material you can use to get the conversation started. Usually in their profiles, people speak in broad terms about themselves rather than being specific. They put things such as "I like sports" or "I enjoy outdoor activities" or "I like going to the movies". This is an excellent opportunity to get to know this person and let them know you are interested in more than just their picture. You could say "I see you like sports, what's your favorite team?" or "I noticed in your profile that you enjoy outdoor activities. I enjoy canoeing and bike riding, what are your favorite outdoor activities?"or "I see you like going to the movies,me too!I like to watch comedies, what type of movies do you like?. By starting the conversation this way after a few minutes the other person will feel thy are talking to a friend right away and not be so shy and the conversation will then take off in many different directions.
Be careful to avoid simple yes and no answers because they don't really make a conversation and this may turn the other person off. Remember the point of this conversation is to find out if you are compatible.
Avoid unpleasant topics such as crime. You want to keep the conversation fun and upbeat .
No matter how tempted you might be, don't make exaggerated claims about yourself. This only leads to rejection and disappointment later should you meet in person. To find your true soul mate, honesty about yourself is really important.
Even though I have cautioned you to avoid giving simple yes and no answers, on this first chat, don't be a complete open book either. Remember this first chat is to determine if you are compatible. Once you determine that you are, you could end the chat by saying "I have really enjoyed chatting with you, we seem to have a lot in common. Then decide on a time and date for your next chat. A little mystery is exciting and will leave you both eager for your next chat.
Finally I want to caution you to NEVER give out your full name, address, place of employment, or phone number during your first few chats. Usually the person you are talking to is sincere but on the off chance they are an internet predator,you need to know that they could use this information to figure out where you live. Most predators aren't in for the long haul and if you don't give up this information within the first few chats, they will probably look elsewhere. If anyone tries to pressure or coax this information out of you this should send up a red flag and you should end the chat immediately and report them to the dating site. This type of behavior is unacceptable.
If you follow these guidelines, you will have a safe and enjoyable first chat and you will be excited for the next one.
Keep an eye out for my next article, Internet Dating Lesson 3: How to Safely Take Your Internet Relationship to the Next Step .
Kathryn Hamilton is the co-founder of www.1HellofaMatch.Com an exciting online venue with 15 unique dating sites including dating for marriage,seniors dating,and dating for those with disabilities. She has been a private dating and relationship consultant for the last 5 years and she enjoys helping people take the stress out of dating. You can seek her advice for free by clicking the Ask Kathryn link on her website www.1HellofaMatch.Com.
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