I am no dating expert or guru, I am just an average every day guy living a regular existence who has been able to transform his dating life and have a lot of success meeting women. Over the past couple of years I have seen Myspace transform my own and many other people's social lives. Now Facebook has produced an exceptionally great opportunity for any average guy to meet amazing women that they would have never had the chance to meet previously.
First I am going to tell you why Facebook presents this exceptional opportunity for you and then I am going to tell you the how. It is important you do not skip this section because in this case understanding the why maybe be just as if not more important than the how. Given that over 60% of Facebook users are women let me try and determine why this is the case and why it is critical for your to understand.
Why do women love social networking sites? Back in the old days when we used to live in tribes of around 100 people men used to be depended on for the survival of their family. Women and their children depended on their man to provide for and protect for them, without a man a woman and her family would usually die. There were no social services in those days. Men developed a strongly independence as they had to depend on themselves for their own survival and the survival of their offspring.
Men who were abundance in the wealth they could provide for their family were seen as attractive as there men who can great strength and fitness who could protect their family. Men who had leadership and dominance were seen as attractive as they had the power to lead others and provide and protect their families thus men who also possessed these skills also found it easy to attract a female partner.
Women on the other hand had another set of qualities which they developed in order to increase the likelihood of their survival and that of their family. This can be best described as having great communication skills. Women depended on keeping a great relationship with their man for their own survival as losing them would mean certain death. They also had to master the art of communication with their children and families. Over thousands of years this characteristics have been hard wired into our brains so that men and women will excel at certain skills.
Today women can provide for themselves, they can easily get a job and by their own food and resources, they are not dependent on men for survival. Today women's greatest skill is the one they most need to learn if they want to survive in the modern world. Learning how to communicate effectively is the key for men thriving and surviving in the modern world. There is no point in owning a billion dollar technology company or being the biggest, stronger guy in the gym if you can effectively communicate with a woman so that she stays around. Women do not have to wait around for men these days so communication is critical to attracting and keeping women.
Today people still live in tribes except they go under a different name, they are called called social networks today. Networks are a powerful influence over our every day life, the biggest more powerful networks can control an entire city, country or even an entire region. Advertising and media companies which now consist of a majority of female employees communicate with us on a daily basis whether we want them to or not. Communication is key to surviving and thriving in the modern era.
In a nutshell what I teach men is the communication and attraction skills they need to know to build their social network and attract more of the type of women they want to meet. The great news is it can be done very quickly even in a matter of days sometimes as your success building a strong network will often snowball into building up even more. Traditionally only the guys who women were naturally attracted to at a young age or were surrounded by women in high school developed the best communication skills and the biggest social networks.
The reason why I endorse developing skills at meeting women using social networking skills is that it is actually a whole lot easier. People who are in your social circle typically assume you are somewhat alike as like minded people usually spend their time together. If you go to a party filled with millionaires and beautiful women they are going to assume that you are a millionaire who attracts beautiful women even if you are flat broke. If you go to a party full of poor arts students then they are going to assume you are a poor arts student even if you are a millionaire. This works to your advantage because there is already some assumed rapport there because you are in the same social circle. All you need to do now is get attraction so lets talk about how to do that on Facebook.
Introducing the SCAN method
Search is the first step in your quest to meeting an attractive woman in your social circle. Now lets assume you have 100 friends on Facebook who all know around 20 that you don't know and that those people know another 20 people that you don't know. Applying the principle of the Six Degrees of Separation I am going to assume your social network goes five to six chains wide before you lose the connection. If you do the maths you will soon realize you have more people than you think in your extended network. I find it best not to approach new women in my immediate social circle if I don't know they are single because I do not want to upset my social circle.
So for example if I click on my friend John's profile click view friends then find Sophie who is rather attract, then click view her friends this is the degree of separation I am looking for. Close enough to be in touch and still have commonality yet not close enough to upset any of males in my friend circle who might be courting the attractive woman. This is important because you do not want men and women in your social circle working against you, you want them working on your side talking you up and helping you out.
Connect is the next step after you have found a few women who are a friend of a friend then you want to contact them via the send message feature. Warning do not poke or add as a friend until after you have connected with them. There is a big difference between contacting a woman online and actually connecting with her. Does she respond to your message? When then you have made a connection.
I have noticed ever since I started spying on other guys that my "competition" typically do two things wrong. They only write one or two lines and make it generic and the woman does not respond because the guy is a stranger and doesn't offer anything interesting about himself. Some guys make the mistake off writing way to much which telegraphs too much interest and turns the woman off. Each way can be like a cancer to your success meeting women online.
Here is a tip, write 8-12 lines or 2-3 paragraphs maximum, then I recommend you try and shorten it to 5-8 lines by cutting out the fluff and making your words more powerful and more meaningful. You want to make sure you include a call to action in every email you send out to a woman which leads to you both taking the first step. Make sure you only take it one step at a time so as not to telegraph too much interest or put too much pressure on the woman up front. The first call to action might simply be to mail you back, the second might be to ask for her IM or phone number, the third might be to talk to her on the phone and the fourth to meet up with her etc.
Attract is the next thing you need to ensure you are doing. Use emotional language in your writing too appeal to a woman, get her excited to respond to her. Make sure you have a great headline to make sure she responds to your email. It's not that hard because most guys headlines are so bad, try using there name in the headline it will increase your response dramatically. I have already talked about a few of the male fitness indicators in this article so now I want to think about how you can apply them to your profile.
Negotiate is the next step, you need to negotiate talking on the phone and going on a date or to a party together. You are the one who is responsible for this part of the proceedings, you are the man you need to take the lead. Make sure you already have decided where you want to take her before you talk to her on the phone, make it casual and relaxed so it appeals to her. She is single and looking to meet someone but she does not want a guy who is all over her. You have got her interest and built some attraction so now you have to add some logic to give her a rationalization for meeting with you or getting physical with you. I am not saying you need to sell her on the idea, I am just saying you need to state the next step so it makes sense in line with what she is already thinking. Trying saying something like "hey you seem like a pretty interesting person, lets meet at this party/coffee shop I am going to be at on friday night and see if we get along."
Facebook presents a great opportunity to meet a ton of women with no fear of rejection if you follow these simple steps. With just under a million more women on Facebook than men in the United States alone and similar figures world wide this is truly a great opportunity for you to take advantage of.
William Walker is an expert at dating and networking using social networks. For more tips, techniques, internet dating advice and step by step instructions on how to meet women on Facebook go here: Internet Dating Advice for the latest on how to attract and date women online.
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